Insert Relevant Title Here
by Intoxicated Gnu
Summary: Fujiko and Lupin might be forced to have a kid. Since she's pregnant and all. Stupid ol' crack with Jigen being a jerk.
1. Chapter 1

I had a strike of inspiration.. in the bad way xD  
Anyway, I decided to replace the first chapter with this, it's makes more sense like this anyway..  
The first chapter is now the second chapter.. And stuff like that.  
I feel drunk when I'm writing these things, because I'm often half-asleep when I write them and can't remember them in the morning and have to re-read them x.x

Lupin and Fujiko sat on the couch near the fireplace, drinking wine after dinner.  
Fujiko stared vacantly into her glass.  
"Is something wrong?" Lupin nudged her arm.  
"Hm?" She finally averted her eyes from the glass sitting gracefully in her hand.  
"You've barely said a word all night."  
"Mm, nothing…" she said with a faint smile.  
Lupin sighed and placed his glass back in front of him.  
"What did you come over here for then?" he eyed her suspiciously.  
She glued her eyes to the floor nervously.  
"J-just to spend time with you, I guess,"  
"Oh, that's a laugh," he finished his drink in a swig, setting it back down.  
"You spend _hours _trying to get ahold of me, taking a plane from France, and you say you're here _just to spend time with me_. I think I know you a little better than that!"  
She backed away timidly, biting down on her lip.  
"Lupin, I think you've had a little too much to drink…"  
He sank in his seat, feeling more relaxed  
"You're probably right," he sighed with a tired grin.  
"But you wouldn't just _be here_ without reason. Before this, you hadn't talked to me in weeks!"  
"I know that…" she slid over closer to him, gazing straight into his eyes.

"You love me, right?"  
"Of course," he glared curiously.  
"Enough to spend the rest of your life with me?"  
"Is this a bizarre proposal of some sort?"  
Fujiko crossed her arms over her chest. "No."  
"What is it with all these ridiculous questions all of the sudden then?"  
"Ridiculous?"  
"You already know the answers,"  
"_She can't be serious; this has to be an act for some farfetched plan of hers…"_  
She rested her hand on his, trembling anxiously.  
"How would you feel about having kids?"  
"_Well, now I know it's phony!"_  
Lupin leaned back, chuckling mockingly.  
"Cut the act, Fujiko! This isn't getting us anywhere!"  
"You jerk!" she shouted, tears forming in the corners of her eyes.  
He stopped himself, still unsure.  
"Fujiko, what is this? We both said we never wanted kids, and what kind of parents would we be? We can't take care of a brat for a few days, let alone eighteen years,"  
She wept in cracked wails, her shoulders heaving rapidly.  
Lupin lowered his guard, placing his hand on her shoulder.  
"What's wrong?"  
"I-I'm…"


	2. Chapter 2

Oh wow, another joke story! Big surprise xD  
I doubt the humor will get very bizarre this time, though.. We'll see.  
I was trying to think up plots that were a bit ridiculous (in the way that they'd never ever happen)  
And this is what I got.

Fujiko brushed her hair back, trying not to choke on her words, the tightness in her throat making it hard to breathe.  
"I don't know how this happened…"  
Jigen pushed up the brim of his hat, grinning towards Fujiko mockingly.  
"_I think we all know that one,"_  
Lupin took her hand and threw his other arm around her neck.  
"It's… mine? Right?"  
Tears forming in her eyes, she lowered her head and nodded.  
This time, Jigen burst out into laughter, finally stopping himself when Lupin shot him a few quick annoyed glances, but chose to ignore him.  
Lupin lowered his head as well to be at eye level.  
"Fujiko, you know… You don't have to have it, if you're not ready…"  
She glued her eyes to the floor, looking up at him briefly every few moments.  
"I know, but I'm not sure my morals will let me-"  
Her words were cut short by Jigen, who held his stomach and doubled over laughing, nearly falling to the ground.  
Lupin gave him a murderous glare, clenching his teeth in anger.  
Goemon walked in and took Jigen by the wrist.  
"Come on, we'll go watch Maury or something,"  
Jigen nodded and followed obediently.

Fujiko stumbled onto her feet.  
"Are you going somewhere?"  
"I didn't realize how tired I was. I think I'm gonna go take a nap,"  
"Oh, okay. See you later, then…"  
"Bye bye," she said, walking out with a slight wave.  
"Damn Jigen," he mumbled under his breath.

Lupin slumped in his seat, leaning back and staring at the ceiling.  
Jigen, who had calmed down a bit, walked back into the room and stood behind Lupin.  
"Hey, buddy," he said, patting Lupin's shoulder.  
"This might be a good time to dump her already,"  
Lupin looked back at him angrily.  
"Well, it's not like you're ready to be a father!" he added with a laugh.  
"Of course not, but what choice do I have?"  
Jigen jerked forward, choking on his cigarette smoke.  
"Hey, don't tell me you're actually considering this!"  
"Well, it is my kid…" Lupin sighed.  
"I wouldn't bet on it,"  
Lupin crossed his arms over his chest and left without a word.  
Jigen lowered his hat and shrugged, going back to watch TV.


End file.
